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- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
I was praying about prayer earlier this week. I want to pray, and I love to pray, but days keep going by with just a few God-ward thoughts and maybe a "hey God, help me not to suck today please. I'd like to be kind, and um, to have a good day. Thanks."
Prayer is a helluva lot more than that, and I have been frustrated by how my soul pretends it is satisfied. Not that on-the-go prayers don't have a place, but I am in a season of early afternoons off work with very little responsibility, and I am not satisfied for all of those hours to be spent walking the dog and washing dishes. So I had a chat with God about it at small group on Monday, about why I don't just do what I want to want! And I realized that I don't know how to just be with God, so I avoid it for fear of feeling like a failure, or I over complicate it. It is SO EASY for me to fall into the trap of choosing a strategy: picking a posture, setting a time, keeping silence to listen, and all of those things are good and helpful, but they are not what bring me to God. When I spend time with my friends, generally we plan a time and place to get together, and we may have an idea of what we want to do, but once we connect, we go with the flow! If I change seats because the sun is in my eyes, nobody thinks we need to start over; if I get distracted I apologize, but I don't think we should just give up talking.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
God says: Pranking blind people ain't funny, yo.
Reading the Bible for Lent has been so good for me. For the most part it hasn't even been a huge burden, it just eliminates any questions of what to read on the subway. It has also been so interesting reading so much Bible all at once, because things stand out to me more - repetition or allusions that I might miss if they were spread out over a month or five jump out because I am reading Deuteronomy only a few days after reading Leviticus. Allow me to share an example:
- Leviticus 19:14 - You shall not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block before the blind.
- Deuteronomy 27:18 - Cursed be anyone who misleads a blind man on the road.
I think it is so awesome that in all of these chapters of laws, dietary restrictions, how to treat outsiders, miracles to remember, and lists of people not to get busy with, that God emphasizes dignity for the vulnerable. It also makes me so curious about why God needed to say it twice - how bored were these ancient Semitic people wandering around in the desert? Bored enough to pick on their blind brothers? Jaded enough to curse a sister who would never know it? If you're going to lash out, God says, take it up with me. Or if that doesn't appeal to you, suck it up. But definitely don't send some blind guy wandering off into the desert.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
Beth at Red and Honey wrote a beautiful piece yesterday on her parenting philosophy that sparked a bunch of ideas in my mind. I love Beth's writing because I feel like even though we are different people in very different places in life, we share some heart loves, including making words tell our feelings, seeking beauty in the ordinary, and discovering that God's plan is bigger, deeper, harder and better than our own.
I love Beth's heart for her kids and have so many posts flagged in my mind to pull up in future times when my kids are eating play-doh and breaking their crayons. What challenged me most yesterday though was not her perspective on parenting so much as the connection of God parenting us. And all my thoughts swirling around are definitely too long to leave as a comment on her blog!
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
It keeps happening to me that when I least want to take time to spend with God, pushing through and doing it is most rewarding. Suffice it to say that I had a good ol' chat with God this evening, and then I was reading some prayers from a book my mentor gave me at graduation (The Valley of Vision - I love it). I was struck by these lines and thought I'd share:
Thou hast struck a heavy blow at my pride,
at the false god of self,
and I lie in pieces before thee.
...Grant me grace to bear thy will without repining,
and delight to be
not only chiselled, squared, or fashioned,
but separated from the old rock where I have
been embedded so long,
and lifted from the quarry to the upper air,
where I may be built in Christ for ever.
*The bold emphasis is my own.
I typed up another prayer for a friend earlier this week and there too, I typed every thy as they. Thank goodness for proof-reading!
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
I really enjoyed the sermon I heard this morning and thought I would share some thoughts from it. For the second week in a row, the text was about Jesus calling his first disciples - last week was John's account, and this week was Mark's. The pastor emphasized the fact that these disciples were going about their normal work when Jesus called them, that they weren't a very spiritual group seeking God at all but that Jesus sought them out. The real trick in the passage is that when Jesus told the men to follow him, the text simply tells us they did. We don't know the circumstances they left or the emotions they felt or any decisions they weighed; we simply read that they responded to Jesus' call, and we know that ultimately this response changed all their lives.
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- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
I read Psalm 50 today, and verses 12-15 emphasize so much what I have been thinking about praise. They say (God is speaking):
"If I were hungry, I would not tell you,
for the world and its fullness are mine.
Do I eat the flesh of bulls
or drink the blood of goats?
Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving,
and perform your vows to the Most High,
and call upon me in the day of trouble;
I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me."
I think this is such a vivid way of describing God's desire for worship - but that the instructions he gives are not because that is what he needs. Instead, as our Creator, he teaches us how we were designed to interact with him so that we can be fulfilled in our relationship with him.
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- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
I spent some time on my lunch today meditating on Revelation 4:11,
Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created.
The second line caught my attention, because it was different from what I expected - if it was a modern worship song it would say "to receive glory and honour and praise." So I let my mind wonder about why power is ascribed to God here, and I wondered how God can receive power anyways since he is all-powerful.
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- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
Matt and I have been on a roll this week, de-cluttering closets, sorting clothes to give away or store for the colder months, and generally making our apartment awesome. Nimoy has faithfully observed us with short breaks to lie in his crate or snack on his dinner.
It's nothing too too special, but it has felt so good to make such visible progress making this space we live in cleaner and more comfortable. We still have a ways to go, but we are enjoying what is done without stressing too much about what is still to come. For example, we had a pile of stuff at the base of a bookcase in our living room. I emptied a few of the shelves that had stuff instead of books, and picked up everything that was on the floor around it and just put everything in a box in the corner. Now instead of waiting until I can bring myself to sort through odds and ends that might be garbage or might just need a home, I can enjoy a clean living room.
May my happiness be motivation to stop procrastinating dealing with whatever pile-of-stuff had invaded your living space :) It's worth it!
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
I had a good chat with God last night, and that was a gift because I had been very close to spending my evening watching Netflix. Then when I was heading to bed, I debated whether to read my Bible or go straight to sleep. My mind thought, I have already heard so much from God today, I don't really want to read my Bible because what if he says more!? I'm too tired to write it down, and I'll never remember it all, and then how will it change me. I shouldn't waste both our time.
And then God so gently said, With Matt you don't worry about remembering every great thing he has ever said to you, but those words nourish and shape your relationship all the same. You can't have too much of me, Alyssa.
God is right! I could never have too much of him, and even when I have SO much of him, that is right. I was designed to overflow with God's love. And I trust that what he wants to stick he will make stick.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
I am slowly reading The Gospel According to Job and wanted to share an excerpt from the last chapter I read because this paragraph struck my heart:
Some Christians treat love as though it were an evangelistic strategy, a kind of gospel-bait. Love is seen as a useful tool for attracting or luring people into the Kingdom. Naturally, once the fish has been hauled into the boat, the lure is cut from its mouth. But love is not a silver spoon or a jitterbug. Love is not bait for the gospel; love is the gospel. Love is not a means towards some other end; love is means and end together. The moment love is used as a tool, it ceases to be love. When people try to use love in this way, what they are really doing is using God. Instead of being used by God, they try to turn the tables and use Him. Religion becomes an instrument for the expansion of one's own personal power. Love becomes a weapon of aggression. Little wonder that the person who is suffering comes to hate it. For true love is not aggression; true love is not concerned with gaining power over others. Rather, love is the humility in which self becomes subservient to relationship.
In the Kingdom of God nothing moves, nothing happens, without love.