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- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: suffering
Recently Matt preached about the woman with the issue of blood, and as part of that service, I wrote a monologue to read before the sermon began. Here it is!
I have been invisible for 12 years.
I felt myself wasting away from the inside out, felt strength withering from my bones in the heat each day.
I hate crowds, hate the crush of flesh and smells and sounds, like an ocean current cutting through the city, carrying a life that I'll never know. People going to work, to weddings, running errands and meeting friends. That day the crowd was waiting for Jesus, hoping to see a show, and I watched from a doorway, kept my distance as usual.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: suffering
"Knowing that you were ransomed... not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ."
1 Peter 1:18-19a
A House in the Sky tells the true story of Amanda Lindhout, a Canadian woman who was kidnapped and held hostage for over a year in Somalia. Eventually she was rescued after her family raised a huge ransom. This story came to mind when I was reading this passage, as I reflected on friends who are going through a hard season.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: suffering
Henri Nouwen says that the purest form of prayer is listening. I have been trying to remember to leave more space in my prayers for God to speak, to guide my prayers or to answer my questions, to say what He wants to say.
Recently while praying for someone I love, Job’s wife came to mind. I wondered into the stillness of an open-ended prayer what she had to do with this situation where a person of strong faith is suffering. She is famous for being not the most supportive wife when her husband was afflicted by Satan himself as a test of his faith. As Job mourns the loss of all his children, his vast material wealth and sits in ashes scraping boils with broken pottery, she chimes in with a single line of dialogue:
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: suffering
Job is one of my favourite books in the Bible - when I actually take the time to read through it I always get pulled into the story. The conversation comes to life as Job and his friends talk and argue back and forth, and it's always interesting to see what stands out to me each time, what I relate to most, whether Job's desolation or his friends' advice.
I have been failing at actually reading through the book of Job this time, but I made a good push to about chapter 11, and I keep coming back to Job 6:21b - "you see my calamity and are afraid."
When Job's friends first arrive to comfort him, they sit on the ground with him for seven days not saying anything until Job breaks the silence. However, once he does speak, they are quick to offer their analysis and give suggestions to get his life back on track. This verse resonates with me because it challenges something I know I struggle with: not being enough. When someone is hurting, when life is going hard, or when faith is wobbling, I want to swoop in and fix it; I want to make a plan to change their situation or boost their morale.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: suffering
My due date (Feb. 7) passed without any excitement other than preparing for my parents' arrival from Victoria, BC. I spent the day taking it easy at home, then walked with our housemate Kristen over to the house where she's staying for my parents' visit. We had tea and chatted, then I headed home to wait for Matt and my parents to come from the airport. A huge snow storm was building, and it ended up taking them three and a half hours to get home through the traffic and horrible driving conditions! We had a great night though, and I was so happy the Truck (our nickname for the baby) had waited for them to arrive.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: suffering
As I've mentioned earlier in this home birth series, I have become convinced that epidurals are not a free pass on the pain of labour, and part of my reasoning for choosing home birth is my commitment to not have one unless it becomes medically necessary. I am not morally opposed to epidurals at all, and I do not think I will be more of a woman for birthing a child without one, but having decided that I would rather go without one, I am obviously faced with how I will cope with the pain of labour (incidentally, not everybody agrees that labour is a painful experience, but I'm not counting on an ecstatic birth experience either).