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- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Money
When it comes to money, I'm a saver not a spender. I love to save money so much that I will hide the odd $5 or even stash a $20 somewhere out of sight just so that one day I can discover it and feel like it's free money. I love to accumulate money through automatic transfers to savings accounts, through birthday and Christmas money hoarded in an envelope at the back of my sock drawer, through an empty coffee can that collects our spare change. I love to save up for a big splurge and then cheap out and only spend half what I planned. Actually, I don't love that, but I do it all the time because I so much prefer to have money saved up than to spend it.
Some of you might wish you had my problem, and I will admit that I have indulged my pride a time or two, justifying my control binges of locking down spending as discipline. I mentioned that Matt and I are working through a marriage prep course with a couple from our church, and it has been really helpful to go back over the basics of building a healthy relationship together! One of the videos examines the lead couple's differences in how they handle money - one a saver and one a spender - and how they needed to learn from each other. It is so easy to classify savers as "good with money" because they don't waste money on frivolous purchases. However, as a saver, I am all too aware of the times I have wasted opportunities to spend my money well because I couldn't bring myself to let it go.
Don't believe me? Here's a recent example -
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Parenthood
A friend on facebook shared this link on her wall showing pairs of moms who seem to be friends in real life, each holding signs that declare their opposing choices in raising their kids. It's a great visual representation of the decisions moms (and dads in many cases) make for their families that easily become battlegrounds online but really don't need to pit us against each other. It's a pretty feel-good page to scan through and see women beaming about their choices, and I agree that moms shouldn't be tearing each other down over these things - 99% of moms honestly want to do what is best for their kids, and that is why mommy wars get so intense so often - these are issues that cut to the core of our values and represent our very best efforts, so for someone to question them feels like a personal attack and we want to respond in kind.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Life
A few weeks ago Matt and I started a marriage training course with friends from church who are getting married at the end of the month. The course is put out by the same people who do Alpha, and so far I've found it to be a highlight of our week. Much of the material so far has touched on similar themes as our own pre-marital counselling sessions: take time to connect with each other, but don't smother each other either; communicate your feelings and listen without judging; love must be nurtured if it's going to last; and good marriages don't happen by accident.
But here's the thing! I have gotten so much out of these sessions compared to the counselling we went through five years ago, and I couldn't figure out why. But I think it's because.... we're married now! Dating and being engaged are simply not the same as being married, and although I believe Matt and I entered into marriage as well prepared as we could have been, it's simply a different matter when you put things into practice compared to talking through the theory.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Book Reviews
Kevin Adams chronicles his journey of faith that began with having it all, losing it all, then deciding not to chase getting it all back. Having lost his business and fortune in the economic crash of 2008, the author shares his painful journey to discover the freedom and peace that come from living in reliance on Jesus for everything. I was challenged by several insights into our Christian culture, where we proclaim a gospel of grace but also expect people to do their part; where we are committed to Christ but not necessarily surrendered to Him; where we don't know how to handle the deep suffering of others and bungle compassion with bad advice and half-hearted offers of "If there's anything I can do..." before making a break for the parking lot.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Scripture
When I came to verses 22 and 23 of Lamentations 3, they stopped me in my tracks with their goodness - an oasis of hope after two and a half chapters of despair. I spent the day humming "the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end" and along came this poem as a prayer for God's truth to seep into all the cracks of my soul and become my truth as well.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases
But my patience dries up like grass
Turning brittle and sharp
In the heat of late nights and clingy days
Erupting teeth and toys underfoot
I find you at the end of myself.
Like the beach where island meets ocean
Where jagged rocks are worn smooth by endless current
Where the shards of my feelings, broken like bottles
Are disarmed and made safe
And grains of sand remind me of your promise,
The legacy of one soul devoted to you,
The offspring of a thousand generations that you bless
Beyond counting, the weight of Earth
Does not tire you,
As one heavy soul tires me.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Creativity
It's mother's day tomorrow, so I'd like to dedicate a new piece of spoken word to my very own mom! Click read more to see the text of the poem.
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
I have been doing good reading lately and came across this great insight from Bernard of Clairvaux, quoted in Richard Foster's book Prayer:
"If you are wise therefore you will show yourself a reservoir and not a canal. For a canal pours out as fast as it takes in; but a reservoir waits till it is full before it over flows, and so communicates its surplus…We have all too few such reservoirs in the Church at present, thought we have canals in plenty."
I thought back to this image of a reservoir as I was reading in Ephesians this morning, from chapter 3:18-19 where Paul prays "[that you] may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth, and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." What a great image for this prayer that we will know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that we will be filled with what we cannot possibly contain!
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- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Thoughts
It has been a week since our epic hiking adventure, and I am still hobbling around with sore knees. There is no swelling, and I don't have too much pain unless I overdo things or use stairs. I can walk from one end of the apartment to the other; I can stand and sit and carry Torre, but to actually get out and run errands or go to the park slows me down to turtle pace. I think my muscles are still in disbelief at what we did and are worried they'll give me ideas if they just work without complaining!
I was talking to God about my sore knees and asked if there was any lesson or something I should get out of this, and it turns out there is. So here you have the spiritual lessons I am learning from this physical pain:
- Don't do all your training indoors
Here's the thing - I'm in reasonably good shape, and it was a huge blow to my pride to be so crippled by physical activity I thought I could do. I even did a workout video the night before we left to go camping! I can climb the stairs to our apartment on the 11th floor, even carrying Torre; I can do pull-ups and push-ups and tricep dips and squats and mountain climbers, and I will hate them and sweat buckets then feel great after. But that kind of training doesn't translate so well to the complexity of hiking through back country terrain. My knees basically died because all the little muscles that stabilize them became exhausted because they're used to my feet landing on firm, level ground.In faith, it is just as risky to do all your spiritual training in safe, stable, controlled environments.
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- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Book Reviews
"Mishaps and miracles on the road to happily ever after" aptly sums up the plot and message of this book by blogger and author Mandy Hale. Mandy chronicles the ups, downs and loop-de-loops of her life from high school into her thirties with candour and sass. Ultimately her story shows that it is possible to find happiness even if all your original expectations for life go unmet, and I really enjoyed reading this account of a woman finding her identity in God, not in a career or romantic relationship.
Read more: Book Review: I've Never Been to Vegas, but My Luggage Has
- Details
- Written by: Alyssa
- Category: Prayer
This morning I read Ephesians 1 in the Message translation. Verse 11 says, "It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for." This is the prayer that came from reflecting on that verse:
God of wonders,
how good of you to love me.
To make me with care,
to shepherd my soul,
to bear with my pride, my ignorance,
my cowardice.
Father of lights,
creator of stars,
would you shine on me.
Let me never forget the cracks and flaws I bear;
let me never imagine my beauty or goodness is anything
more than your Spirit shining through my brokenness;