Matt took a course on family ministry this semester, so we now have a 650 page textbook on the topic. I have been out of school for long enough now that I can read through academic material without my brain and soul shutting down, and as I was flipping through Matt’s textbook (Family Ministry: A Comprehensive Guide by Diana R. Garland), I came across this excerpt which was, shall we say, very timely 🙂
Despite what the commercials and movies tell us, love is not a feeling. It is a way we decide to act. We cannot force ourselves to feel love – we can’t force ourselves to feel anything. A baby crying for the third time since parents went to bed may not invoke feelings of love, but parents do not wait to act until they feel like doing the loving thing. Instead, they choose to act in love. In such ways, children “discipline,” or influence, the behavior of parents.
Maybe one of the reasons people think it is wise to wait a while after getting married to have children is not just so you can travel unhindered but because it gives you practice at acting loving when you don’t feel like it. Just as it can be a rude awakening the first time you don’t feel lovey towards your spouse, it can be scary to not feel lovey towards a tiny infant who depends on you for everything. I have a really easygoing baby, an extraordinarily supportive spouse, and a great network of people who sincerely care about me, but there have definitely been times when Torre has needed more from me than I had to give. I expected motherhood to stretch me, and it has, but it has been different than what I expected – both harder and easier than I thought it would be. Continue reading “Baby Discipline”