Matt and I had dinner with friends of ours last night and enjoyed some alone time while our friend Nick picked his wife up from the grocery store. We sat in the living room and chatted and drank water (it was 40 degrees outside and neither our apartment nor our car have air conditioning, so we were basically in survival mode for the drive there, not chatty, share thoughts on life mode). When our friends got home, Nick apologized for not showing us how to turn on the TV or something, but I said that after Matt being away for 4 of the last 5 weeks, it was really nice for us to just be in a room together for 20 minutes.
I find it is so easy to neglect simply talking and listening with people we love – life so quickly gets in the way. Time fills up with work, hobbies, time with friends, entertainment, and sleep (also, in our case lately, international travel, lol). Such a simple thing as sitting in a room and talking – without music playing or a newsfeed running on TV and without cell phone games to play – has become too rare in my life. I think taking the time to actually let a conversation slip deeper than day to day chatter has become too rare in general; even with people we love and trust, vulnerability and deep honesty are coaxed out from us over time.
I’m heading home for a week and a half, and I hope that this timely reminder will not be wasted – I’ll have a short time to make the most of catching up with family and friends, and it would be a shame to spend very much of that time checked out in front of a screen.
I agree! Personally, I also have to watch out for checking out mentally – I leave the room, in my mind, if a passing thought grabs me or if I think the other person is getting bored with me. It’s true isn’t it, that time with the ones we love is a gift? – to be present and connected makes that gift even clearer.
I’m really glad you write… just saying.