What am I waiting for?

Psalm 39:7 – And now, O LORD, for what do I wait? My hope is in You.

I love looking forward – to the weekend, to plans with a friend, to payday, to Summer weather 🙂 I try to stay in the moment, but if I’m honest I’m often planning ahead and thinking about what comes next.

In Psalm 39, David is reflecting on how quickly life passes – verse 6 says We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing – but his response is not despair, it is turning to God in that moment.

As I look forward in time, I imagine that walking with God will get easier, that barriers will pass away – I’d love to work part time and be free to volunteer more. As Torre gets older and more independent, I’m able to go to conferences again to be encouraged and challenged. If we lived closer to family and friends I love the idea of sharing life and meals more often, having playdates and praying together. It’s easy to get caught up in imagining how different circumstances could make life just wonderful, but then what do we have to show for it?

I’m encouraged not to wait for things to change to change myself – with God’s help. My hope is in God, and I’m calling on him today. I’ve got a ton of questions and not too many answers; I’ve got a thousand burdens for hurting people I love, injustice in the world, longing for purpose and certainty that I’m not squandering my days – maybe you relate. But hope does not have to wait until the questions are answered. Hope does not have to wait for the peace that passes understanding to descend. Hope does not have to make the right decision every time or else it fails.

Hope lives in every God-given breath that there’s still time.

For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?

Look at the lilies and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things. These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers all over the world, but your Father already knows your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need. (Luke 12:23-31)